Co-sleeping is how human babies (and moms) have survived for hundreds of thousands of years.
As a nurse (worked w moms and babies for 32 years) and a mother of 3, I believe hospitals are doing a giant disservice to so many moms and families by scaring and shaming any parent who has the natural desire to sleep with their babies.
They have a desire to blame most/all SIDS on co-sleeping which is not backed up by the data.
They are desperate for an explanation for SIDS in my opinion.
All babies need/desire closeness to their mothers, especially through the night.
It’s super conducive to breastfeeding as well.
And yes my 3rd child who is probably neurodivergent needed to sleep on my chest for the first 9 months.
There are safe ways to do this and it relaxes parents and babies.
Do what you instinctively know is right for your own baby.
My second son had reflux and a sensitive temperament, and wouldn't sleep unless he was touching me. I approached so many people - sleep consultants, nurses etc - asking how I was supposed to sleep if he wouldn't sleep without being on me, and without fail every person told me to put him on his back because that was the only safe way to sleep. He wouldn't go on his back though, it aggravated his reflux and left him furious. I ended up cosleeping with him in the cuddle curl, but would often end up with him sleeping in my arms in that position, because he couldn't rest without me. I wish someone had told me about chest sleeping - all anyone ever said was that he would die if I did it. I learned about it with my third and it was a game changer. Thank you for having these conversations, and for helping so many people, you'll be changing so many lives
Thank you so much for sharing this. I felt every word of your story. It’s so exhausting and isolating to be given the same advice over and over, even when you’re clearly voicing that it’s not working. So many parents are made to feel like they’re choosing between safety and survival, when what they really need is nuanced, supportive guidance. I’m so glad you found what worked with your third. You and your babies deserved better from the start.
This is very validating, thank you. My son chest slept on my husband as a newborn while I was recovering from a c-section. He also had reflux, so it was the only way he could sleep. Once I recovered and he could lay down without spitting up, we cuddle curl nursed to sleep and co-slept with him in a toddler mattress next to our’s. He’s 3.5 and we still do. It’s the only way we all get a good sleep. My son also chest napped on me for every nap. Eventually I could put him down after he fell asleep on me. I’m a highly sensitive person and I’m now realizing I would fall asleep laying on my mom. I can remember doing so, I was elementary school age when I stopped. I had no idea until reading this that there was a connection between the comfort of contact sleeping and being highly sensitive.
Your story is such a beautiful example of how meeting a child’s needs—especially when they have reflux or heightened sensitivity—can look different from the mainstream narrative, but be so deeply right. It’s incredible how your own memories of contact sleep surfaced through this, too. Highly sensitive people often do have a deep cellular memory of what soothed them—and it makes so much sense that you’re now offering that same comfort to your son. You’ve been attuned to him all along, even before you had the language for it. Thank you for sharing this—it’s going to make so many others feel seen.
Thank you so much for your kind response. Your point of view really does make me feel that following my intuition has been the right thing to do for my son, even though it very much feels like we’re in the minority with our approach. You’ve inspired me to look more deeply into being a highly sensitive person, both for my son and myself. Thank you!
All of my babies slept on my chest for their naps (two of them basically lived in baby carriers during the day), and now that they’re older I’m so glad that they did – what a special time people are missing out on in favour of ‘not making a rod for their backs.’ Anyway, I co-slept with my parents back in the 80s, so who am I to deny my babies that same sleep situation, you know?
I also think the thing people miss when criticising co-sleeping is that so often it’s about survival. You literally cannot live without sleep and if your baby won’t let you sleep, what else are you supposed to do? The rampant mum shaming needs to end already, we’re all just out here doing our best
This made me tear up, because a lot of it is mine and my highly sensitive daughter’s story too. I don’t know where we would be without cosleeping, it truly changed our lives.
I truly believe that cosleeping can be a lifeline for families with highly sensitive children. It offers the kind of safety and connection that so many of us never knew we were allowed to lean into. You’re not alone in your story, and your daughter is so lucky to have you attuned to her needs.
I only got thru the first two months with my reflux baby by chest sleeping! I can’t imagine how little sleep I would have gotten if I’d tried to put her in the bassinet. Instead, we both drifted off together and I felt pretty well rested by one week in. Now she’s 10 weeks and we’ve transitioned to side nursing/sleeping, the same way I slept with my son. Better sleep for everybody, plus cuddles 🫶🏻
Yes! I love this so much. So many families don’t realize that chest sleeping and safe bedsharing can be protective—especially in those early weeks when babies with reflux or high sensory needs struggle so much in a flat surface or away from contact. I’m so glad you followed your instincts. That rested, connected start matters so much for both of you—and it’s amazing how often the shift to side nursing flows naturally when we’ve built that foundation. Thank you for sharing this 💛
Such a strong and important story to share, Lauren. I experienced very similar feelings with slightly different issues with my baby (nursing strike that pushed me towards contact parenting). The position of being “the only one in the world” in such situation with no support that actually helps was my life as well. Now after time, huge shifts in our family life and after studying tons of material, I read your story and consider the needs of your baby totally normal. We just live in unnatural conditions. I am happy you made it through.
Thank you for sharing this. That feeling of being the only one, of having no support that truly gets it—it’s so lonely and disorienting. And yet so many of us have been there, quietly surviving what no one around us seems to understand.
Coslept with all three of mine, all needed it. I'm so so grateful that we have had a supportive pediatrician, AND when my youngest was born (my first hospital birth experience), one of the nurses said "I know you have older kids. They tell you not to sleep with babies, but you know how to do it safely, so go for it as needed." Even with cosleeping, my oldest didn't sleep more than 45 minutes at a time til he was more than a year old. It was hard, and looking back there must have been reflux involved, as he never seemed comfortable laying down. Grateful for my delightful birth center experiences to help me start on my mama-journey. Glad to read these words here-- thank you for sharing your story!! ♥️
I’m so glad you shared this. That kind of support—from a pediatrician, from a nurse who sees and trusts you—can be everything. It shouldn’t be rare, but it still is, and I’m so grateful you had it. And gosh, those early signs like constant waking and discomfort often make so much more sense in hindsight. It’s beautiful to hear how your journey began in such an affirming way. I hope others see your words and learn that supportive providers like this do exist!
Wow! My autistic daughter is 23, and this is the first time I’ve heard of these needs as babies, but it makes so much sense. Thankfully, a colleague gave me a book called Three in a Bed about the history and practice of co-sleeping when I was pregnant, so I did that without guilt at night, but yes on the day sleeping on the chest - she spent a lot of the day in a sling or wrap, and that was how she slept too. Thank you! I will have to read more…
So many parents of older neurodivergent kids tell me similar things—that looking back, all the signs were there, but no one connected the dots. And yet, you did what she needed anyway. Chest sleep, babywearing, responsive care… you followed your instincts, even when the world wasn’t naming those needs yet. That kind of attunement matters so much. I’m so glad that book found its way to you! Thank you for sharing this!!
Co-sleeping is how human babies (and moms) have survived for hundreds of thousands of years.
As a nurse (worked w moms and babies for 32 years) and a mother of 3, I believe hospitals are doing a giant disservice to so many moms and families by scaring and shaming any parent who has the natural desire to sleep with their babies.
They have a desire to blame most/all SIDS on co-sleeping which is not backed up by the data.
They are desperate for an explanation for SIDS in my opinion.
All babies need/desire closeness to their mothers, especially through the night.
It’s super conducive to breastfeeding as well.
And yes my 3rd child who is probably neurodivergent needed to sleep on my chest for the first 9 months.
There are safe ways to do this and it relaxes parents and babies.
Do what you instinctively know is right for your own baby.
Yes! Thank you so much for this. It’s all true. But even more impactful coming from a nurse ❤️
My second son had reflux and a sensitive temperament, and wouldn't sleep unless he was touching me. I approached so many people - sleep consultants, nurses etc - asking how I was supposed to sleep if he wouldn't sleep without being on me, and without fail every person told me to put him on his back because that was the only safe way to sleep. He wouldn't go on his back though, it aggravated his reflux and left him furious. I ended up cosleeping with him in the cuddle curl, but would often end up with him sleeping in my arms in that position, because he couldn't rest without me. I wish someone had told me about chest sleeping - all anyone ever said was that he would die if I did it. I learned about it with my third and it was a game changer. Thank you for having these conversations, and for helping so many people, you'll be changing so many lives
Thank you so much for sharing this. I felt every word of your story. It’s so exhausting and isolating to be given the same advice over and over, even when you’re clearly voicing that it’s not working. So many parents are made to feel like they’re choosing between safety and survival, when what they really need is nuanced, supportive guidance. I’m so glad you found what worked with your third. You and your babies deserved better from the start.
As did you and yours. It’s such a shame the support is still so lacking, hopefully by speaking out we can help change the narrative somewhat
This is very validating, thank you. My son chest slept on my husband as a newborn while I was recovering from a c-section. He also had reflux, so it was the only way he could sleep. Once I recovered and he could lay down without spitting up, we cuddle curl nursed to sleep and co-slept with him in a toddler mattress next to our’s. He’s 3.5 and we still do. It’s the only way we all get a good sleep. My son also chest napped on me for every nap. Eventually I could put him down after he fell asleep on me. I’m a highly sensitive person and I’m now realizing I would fall asleep laying on my mom. I can remember doing so, I was elementary school age when I stopped. I had no idea until reading this that there was a connection between the comfort of contact sleeping and being highly sensitive.
Your story is such a beautiful example of how meeting a child’s needs—especially when they have reflux or heightened sensitivity—can look different from the mainstream narrative, but be so deeply right. It’s incredible how your own memories of contact sleep surfaced through this, too. Highly sensitive people often do have a deep cellular memory of what soothed them—and it makes so much sense that you’re now offering that same comfort to your son. You’ve been attuned to him all along, even before you had the language for it. Thank you for sharing this—it’s going to make so many others feel seen.
Thank you so much for your kind response. Your point of view really does make me feel that following my intuition has been the right thing to do for my son, even though it very much feels like we’re in the minority with our approach. You’ve inspired me to look more deeply into being a highly sensitive person, both for my son and myself. Thank you!
All of my babies slept on my chest for their naps (two of them basically lived in baby carriers during the day), and now that they’re older I’m so glad that they did – what a special time people are missing out on in favour of ‘not making a rod for their backs.’ Anyway, I co-slept with my parents back in the 80s, so who am I to deny my babies that same sleep situation, you know?
I also think the thing people miss when criticising co-sleeping is that so often it’s about survival. You literally cannot live without sleep and if your baby won’t let you sleep, what else are you supposed to do? The rampant mum shaming needs to end already, we’re all just out here doing our best
This made me tear up, because a lot of it is mine and my highly sensitive daughter’s story too. I don’t know where we would be without cosleeping, it truly changed our lives.
I truly believe that cosleeping can be a lifeline for families with highly sensitive children. It offers the kind of safety and connection that so many of us never knew we were allowed to lean into. You’re not alone in your story, and your daughter is so lucky to have you attuned to her needs.
I only got thru the first two months with my reflux baby by chest sleeping! I can’t imagine how little sleep I would have gotten if I’d tried to put her in the bassinet. Instead, we both drifted off together and I felt pretty well rested by one week in. Now she’s 10 weeks and we’ve transitioned to side nursing/sleeping, the same way I slept with my son. Better sleep for everybody, plus cuddles 🫶🏻
Yes! I love this so much. So many families don’t realize that chest sleeping and safe bedsharing can be protective—especially in those early weeks when babies with reflux or high sensory needs struggle so much in a flat surface or away from contact. I’m so glad you followed your instincts. That rested, connected start matters so much for both of you—and it’s amazing how often the shift to side nursing flows naturally when we’ve built that foundation. Thank you for sharing this 💛
Such a strong and important story to share, Lauren. I experienced very similar feelings with slightly different issues with my baby (nursing strike that pushed me towards contact parenting). The position of being “the only one in the world” in such situation with no support that actually helps was my life as well. Now after time, huge shifts in our family life and after studying tons of material, I read your story and consider the needs of your baby totally normal. We just live in unnatural conditions. I am happy you made it through.
Thank you for sharing this. That feeling of being the only one, of having no support that truly gets it—it’s so lonely and disorienting. And yet so many of us have been there, quietly surviving what no one around us seems to understand.
Coslept with all three of mine, all needed it. I'm so so grateful that we have had a supportive pediatrician, AND when my youngest was born (my first hospital birth experience), one of the nurses said "I know you have older kids. They tell you not to sleep with babies, but you know how to do it safely, so go for it as needed." Even with cosleeping, my oldest didn't sleep more than 45 minutes at a time til he was more than a year old. It was hard, and looking back there must have been reflux involved, as he never seemed comfortable laying down. Grateful for my delightful birth center experiences to help me start on my mama-journey. Glad to read these words here-- thank you for sharing your story!! ♥️
I’m so glad you shared this. That kind of support—from a pediatrician, from a nurse who sees and trusts you—can be everything. It shouldn’t be rare, but it still is, and I’m so grateful you had it. And gosh, those early signs like constant waking and discomfort often make so much more sense in hindsight. It’s beautiful to hear how your journey began in such an affirming way. I hope others see your words and learn that supportive providers like this do exist!
Wow! My autistic daughter is 23, and this is the first time I’ve heard of these needs as babies, but it makes so much sense. Thankfully, a colleague gave me a book called Three in a Bed about the history and practice of co-sleeping when I was pregnant, so I did that without guilt at night, but yes on the day sleeping on the chest - she spent a lot of the day in a sling or wrap, and that was how she slept too. Thank you! I will have to read more…
So many parents of older neurodivergent kids tell me similar things—that looking back, all the signs were there, but no one connected the dots. And yet, you did what she needed anyway. Chest sleep, babywearing, responsive care… you followed your instincts, even when the world wasn’t naming those needs yet. That kind of attunement matters so much. I’m so glad that book found its way to you! Thank you for sharing this!!